Senator Francis "Chiz" Escudero poses with Times' girls after a roundtable with The Times' editors and reporters
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
How To Be A Better Partner
How To Be A Better Partner
by baw-waw de aLmasen
If you have ever been in a relationship that failed, you most likely have sat down afterwards and wondered what went wrong. Sometimes it is easy to spot how much of it was their fault but it is not too easy to look at where you, personally, went wrong. Everybody wants to be the best at what they do, and being the best you can be for your partner is no exception. Listed below are 12 simple lessons that will help you to achieve that goal. Remember, if you want to be good to someone else, you also have to be good to yourself.
1.Be romantic. Whenever a relationship starts to fail, the lack of romance is one of the first indicators. It is very natural for people to get complacent and forget the fun things they used to do when they first got together. A relationship has to be constantly worked on and being romantic is an absolute must. If you would like some more information on how to bring the romance back in to your relationship, please take a look at some of the articles in the <http://lovingyou.com/romance101/tools/> Romance Guide.
2.Never disparage yourself. Whenever you are disparaging yourself, you are basically saying that you are no good for your partner. If you don't believe that you are good enough for them, then you won't be. It's as simple as that. Don't sit around and beat yourself up over past mistakes, that will only prevent you from trying and succeeding at new things tomorrow.
3.Always be honest. There is not one single relationship that will succeed in the long run if built on a lie. Even if your partner never finds out the truth, the fact that you know you lied will affect your feelings for yourself and your partner. With that kind of a hindrance, the relationship will never reach it's full potential.
4.Do not do things just to keep your partner happy. How many times have you done something for or to your partner that you really did not want to do, just to make them happy? How did it make you feel? Every time you compromise yourself in that way, a piece of your love for them dies. It is much better to explain to them that you don't feel good about certain things and work on an alternative together.
5.Do not ask your partner to do things you know they don't want to do. This is the reverse of the above lesson and fairly self-explanatory. If you know they really don't like doing something, and if that something is for you and of no benefit to them, then why ask them to do it unless you are being selfish or mean?
6.Do not belittle your partner. Everyone makes mistakes in life and everyone works or catches on at different speeds. If you spend your time nagging at your partner or putting them down about every little thing they do wrong, then how can you expect them to do anything right? Do you want a life-partner or a puppy dog?
7.Do not put off things you have promised to do. Trust is an important part of any relationship and it needs to be developed. If you say you are going to do something and don't, then how can your partner rely on you in the future?
8.Always be there for your partner. Nothing is more important in your life than your partner. Friends come and go, as do children, but your partner is with you for the whole journey. If they are in trouble or need you, nothing else matters, other than to be there for them.
9.Communicate. Things change in a relationship almost on a daily basis. If you don't talk to your partner you could very easily wake up one day and find that you have drifted too far apart to bridge the gap. Related Article: http://www.lovingyou.com/articles/self/communication.shtml> How To Communicate With Your Love
10.Do not commit adultery or other harmful acts against your relationship. This one is really self-explanatory. Nothing destroys a relationship faster than infidelity or wrong doings. Related Article: <http://www.lovingyou.com/articles/self/ethics.shtml> Ethics In Love
11.Treat your partner with respect. It is extremely easy to take someone for granted and once you start to cross that line, it is very difficult to go back. Be careful not to treat your partner worse than you would treat your best friend. Related Article: <http://www.lovingyou.com/articles/marriage/marriagemanners.shtml> Marriage Manners
12.Be open and receptive to your partner's wants and wishes. It takes two people to have a relationship and when you shut one of them out because you are not open to their ideas and wishes then you really don't have a relationship at all. Always be open and receptive to what they say. Also, be open to new experiences and ideas, you never know what you might learn.
by baw-waw de aLmasen
If you have ever been in a relationship that failed, you most likely have sat down afterwards and wondered what went wrong. Sometimes it is easy to spot how much of it was their fault but it is not too easy to look at where you, personally, went wrong. Everybody wants to be the best at what they do, and being the best you can be for your partner is no exception. Listed below are 12 simple lessons that will help you to achieve that goal. Remember, if you want to be good to someone else, you also have to be good to yourself.
1.Be romantic. Whenever a relationship starts to fail, the lack of romance is one of the first indicators. It is very natural for people to get complacent and forget the fun things they used to do when they first got together. A relationship has to be constantly worked on and being romantic is an absolute must. If you would like some more information on how to bring the romance back in to your relationship, please take a look at some of the articles in the <http://lovingyou.com/romance101/tools/> Romance Guide.
2.Never disparage yourself. Whenever you are disparaging yourself, you are basically saying that you are no good for your partner. If you don't believe that you are good enough for them, then you won't be. It's as simple as that. Don't sit around and beat yourself up over past mistakes, that will only prevent you from trying and succeeding at new things tomorrow.
3.Always be honest. There is not one single relationship that will succeed in the long run if built on a lie. Even if your partner never finds out the truth, the fact that you know you lied will affect your feelings for yourself and your partner. With that kind of a hindrance, the relationship will never reach it's full potential.
4.Do not do things just to keep your partner happy. How many times have you done something for or to your partner that you really did not want to do, just to make them happy? How did it make you feel? Every time you compromise yourself in that way, a piece of your love for them dies. It is much better to explain to them that you don't feel good about certain things and work on an alternative together.
5.Do not ask your partner to do things you know they don't want to do. This is the reverse of the above lesson and fairly self-explanatory. If you know they really don't like doing something, and if that something is for you and of no benefit to them, then why ask them to do it unless you are being selfish or mean?
6.Do not belittle your partner. Everyone makes mistakes in life and everyone works or catches on at different speeds. If you spend your time nagging at your partner or putting them down about every little thing they do wrong, then how can you expect them to do anything right? Do you want a life-partner or a puppy dog?
7.Do not put off things you have promised to do. Trust is an important part of any relationship and it needs to be developed. If you say you are going to do something and don't, then how can your partner rely on you in the future?
8.Always be there for your partner. Nothing is more important in your life than your partner. Friends come and go, as do children, but your partner is with you for the whole journey. If they are in trouble or need you, nothing else matters, other than to be there for them.
9.Communicate. Things change in a relationship almost on a daily basis. If you don't talk to your partner you could very easily wake up one day and find that you have drifted too far apart to bridge the gap. Related Article: http://www.lovingyou.com/articles/self/communication.shtml> How To Communicate With Your Love
10.Do not commit adultery or other harmful acts against your relationship. This one is really self-explanatory. Nothing destroys a relationship faster than infidelity or wrong doings. Related Article: <http://www.lovingyou.com/articles/self/ethics.shtml> Ethics In Love
11.Treat your partner with respect. It is extremely easy to take someone for granted and once you start to cross that line, it is very difficult to go back. Be careful not to treat your partner worse than you would treat your best friend. Related Article: <http://www.lovingyou.com/articles/marriage/marriagemanners.shtml> Marriage Manners
12.Be open and receptive to your partner's wants and wishes. It takes two people to have a relationship and when you shut one of them out because you are not open to their ideas and wishes then you really don't have a relationship at all. Always be open and receptive to what they say. Also, be open to new experiences and ideas, you never know what you might learn.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Sky-scraping Monday morning
It was my first day of driving with a blue-colored Vios. Huh it was soooo terrific! As in first, first, first! I enrolled at the Socialites Driving Institution for 10 days driving last week and I’ve been waiting for this experience to come. Nakakatakot din pala kase syempre I sometimes took a ride with friends, riding a van when going home to Batangas and everyday of a jeepney ride. Ha ha! I told my instructor to please be “so kind with me,” gladly he did. “Don’t be nervous lady, relax! Nagka-kape ka ba?” that’s his way of comforting me kase natatakot talaga ko na baka I made a wrong move magbayad pa ko at baka magsunget sya…he he he! Thrice nga ko namatayan ng makina e ehehehe Pero nung second and last round ko along Lacson Avenue hmm medyo OK na ko. For today I only had one-hour drive test. And hoping tomorrow I’m totally relax! Bukas ulit Elai! Si She daw ang una ko tuturuan wahaha hmm half the price na lang siguro ang charge ko sa kanya...
Some photos taken during our outing at the Footstep Resort in Niog, Bacoor Cavite
Ate Lans (standing), Ate Salie & Me..Posing while waiting for Kuya Eric at a plaza in Lawton : )
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Friday, July 13, 2007
A pretty cool day...
A simple text (elais?) woke me up early in the morning. And it brought a big smile on my face, I guess, until wee hours, till the time I lay down to bed. Thanks for the effort of visiting me She although it’s raining outside and I know you hate that season…It sooooo sweeeet, really! And, of course, thanks for the “free meal.” At syempre sa kwento at bonding together. J At ang pinaka hindi ko makakalimutan about Shenok every time we’re together is when he asks me “kung may payong and hanky daw ba ako?” At dapat meron kase nagagalit sya saken. It should always be in my carry-all bag ha ha ha dahil kung hindi may buntal ako! Ehehehe “Kase BABAE DAW AKO!” Ang sweet no?
Monday, July 02, 2007
Texting scenario
I have this “loved txtmate” who gave me a great strategy of making someone stop (texting scenario applied here), especially when gibbering. That was last night (hhmmm________). Sadly I’m ranting, minsan kase inaatake talaga ako ehehe admitted naman ako dun, I can’t control my emotion. He said, “Sorry Elai ha kase la na ko battery e, patay na cell ko. Ginagamit kase ng sister ko charger.” Well, have no choice but to stop texting and because he’s using Chikka, how much naman the text worth when I reply back with that di ba, expensive? (KURIPOT!) kaya I’d rather sleep than make him kulet kase baka lalo magalit saken wahahaha… at mahal ang text dun….hehehe! Pero I tell you effective talaga sa akin kase mana ako sa kanya, kuripot. Kaya tumigil na ako. And besides, maybe that’s his way of telling me to shut up! I’m no psychologist but I think, at alam ko ang takbo ng utak ng yatot na yan! That’s his way of halting my pag-iinarte, a not-so-bad strategy of telling someone to stop, right? Great idea kase ala din ako load pang-reply sa chikka kaya tagumpay ang isang bata dyan :). (PEACE THERE!)
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Silence can heal or hurt
COURTSHIP is a glorious time. It is a time of discovery. Discovering the beauty that is in you as seen in the eyes of the beloved. Discovery of someone who has become so special that you cannot believe your luck. It is a time when overwhelmingly good feelings are routine and you are convinced that it will remain so forever.
It should come as no surprise, therefore, if couples rush off to the altar. Almost always, however, after the wedding there is a return to earth. Love still burns brightly, but the everyday stresses and the emerging issues and conflicts have a way of dissipating many of those intoxicating good feelings.
The high level of communicating may drop a few notches. There may even be moments when the beloved sinks into silence and is unwilling to talk. When this happens, there is disappointment and perhaps even anger on the part of the partner.
What do you do when faced with a loved one who retreats into his/her shell and refuses to come out?
Sometimes it is best to do nothing, at least for a while. It might be better to allow the beloved to look into his heart and try to sort out his feelings and his thoughts. Deep silence can be a sign of confusion and inner conflict as well as sadness and anger. Many times the silent one cannot tell you what he is feeling because he is so upset or confused that he cannot get his thoughts organized enough to enunciate them to you.
Emmy and I do this. When either of us goes into the silent mode, the other gives time and space. Time to introspect and enough space to show respect for the beloved.
All of us have moments when we get lost in deep thinking. Some of this thinking can be very personal and private even if is not threatening to the relationship. For example, one might have some serious doubts about God but is unwilling to talk about them because he is still checking them out.
If, however, in your judgment, your beloved has been given enough time, then you should make an approach and ask him what is troubling him. Your method of approaching him will make all the difference. If you are gentle and make the emotional environment safe, the chances of him opening up are high. If you are aggressive and already judgmental, then he might do one of two things. He might retreat even further into silence or he may choose to lie to you.
Choosing the right time is also vital. Patience can make a big difference. Some partners cannot wait and drive a wedge deeper between themselves and their partners. If you choose the right time, your chances are much better.
Choosing an intimate moment when there are few distractions and where you can focus on the matter at hand is important. It is truly amazing how effective you can be if only you carefully choose the right time and the right place to approach a silent partner.
It is common knowledge that impenetrable silence is a killer of relationships. This is why it is essential that you find the ways and means to deal with silent partners if you are to keep your love vibrant and alive.
If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and behavior/attitude call my office at 820-6107 or 825-1771 or e-mail me at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati City.
[Column of Bob Aron, The Manila Times, June 29, 2007] http://www.manilatimes.net
It should come as no surprise, therefore, if couples rush off to the altar. Almost always, however, after the wedding there is a return to earth. Love still burns brightly, but the everyday stresses and the emerging issues and conflicts have a way of dissipating many of those intoxicating good feelings.
The high level of communicating may drop a few notches. There may even be moments when the beloved sinks into silence and is unwilling to talk. When this happens, there is disappointment and perhaps even anger on the part of the partner.
What do you do when faced with a loved one who retreats into his/her shell and refuses to come out?
Sometimes it is best to do nothing, at least for a while. It might be better to allow the beloved to look into his heart and try to sort out his feelings and his thoughts. Deep silence can be a sign of confusion and inner conflict as well as sadness and anger. Many times the silent one cannot tell you what he is feeling because he is so upset or confused that he cannot get his thoughts organized enough to enunciate them to you.
Emmy and I do this. When either of us goes into the silent mode, the other gives time and space. Time to introspect and enough space to show respect for the beloved.
All of us have moments when we get lost in deep thinking. Some of this thinking can be very personal and private even if is not threatening to the relationship. For example, one might have some serious doubts about God but is unwilling to talk about them because he is still checking them out.
If, however, in your judgment, your beloved has been given enough time, then you should make an approach and ask him what is troubling him. Your method of approaching him will make all the difference. If you are gentle and make the emotional environment safe, the chances of him opening up are high. If you are aggressive and already judgmental, then he might do one of two things. He might retreat even further into silence or he may choose to lie to you.
Choosing the right time is also vital. Patience can make a big difference. Some partners cannot wait and drive a wedge deeper between themselves and their partners. If you choose the right time, your chances are much better.
Choosing an intimate moment when there are few distractions and where you can focus on the matter at hand is important. It is truly amazing how effective you can be if only you carefully choose the right time and the right place to approach a silent partner.
It is common knowledge that impenetrable silence is a killer of relationships. This is why it is essential that you find the ways and means to deal with silent partners if you are to keep your love vibrant and alive.
If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and behavior/attitude call my office at 820-6107 or 825-1771 or e-mail me at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati City.
[Column of Bob Aron, The Manila Times, June 29, 2007] http://www.manilatimes.net
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
